I couldn’t even count the number of times I’ve been standing around with some comedians and someone talks about some idea for a joke and another comedian would say, “Carlin does it.” I’ve heard it my whole career: “Carlin does it,” “Carlin already did it,” “Carlin did it eight years ago.” – Jerry Seinfeld’s Obituary for George Carlin in the New York Times, June 24, 2008.
-
George Carlin passed away 10 years ago on June 22, 2008. In reverence to his Football vs Baseball routine, I present Wine vs Beer with apologies to George.
Seems Americans are divided on everything these days, even drinking alcohol. We have wine tasters and beer drinkers - here is how they differ.
Expertise
A wine expert is an Oenologist (pronounced “e-knowledge-ist” or more simply “overbearing”).
A beer expert is the guy behind the counter at your corner liquor store, and generally referred to as “Hey Man.” As in, “Hey Man, is your Schlitz cold?”
Serving
A Sommelier (pronounced “some-old-YAY” or more simply “overbearing-BOO”) is in charge of wines and their service.
Beer servers have many different names, but again most commonly “Hey man,” as in “Hey man, gimme a beer” and at formal occasions, “Hey man, gimme a beer…please.”
Cost
Wine tasters will spend more for wine with a label full of unpronounceable words.
Beer drinkers will spend more for a 30 pack.
The 6 Steps of wine tasting vs beer drinking:
1. Wine tasters open a bottle of wine and smell the cork.
1. Beer drinkers open a beer bottle and shoot the bottle cap at their best friend.
2. Wine tasters sniff the wine.
2. Beer drinkers belch.
3. Wine tasters pour the wine in a wine glass and observe the edges of the wine and note the color.
3. Beer drinkers pour beer in a red plastic cup and suck the foam before it overflows.
4. Wine tasters swirl the wine.
4. Beer drinkers slam a brew.
5. Wine tasters savor their wine.
5. Beer drinkers get hammered.
6. Wine tasters save the label and recycle the bottle.
6. Beer drinkers smash the (empty) beer can on their forehead and use it for a Frisbee.
You know, all that being said, there is truth in wine and don’t cry in your beer.
How about you? Beer or wine, or maybe you are a liquor sipper? Share a story.
