“I swear I found the key to the universe in the engine of the old parked car.” Growin’Up, Bruce Springsteen
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At the wedding reception stood a rectangular table with the pen and paper hearts cut from red construction paper. Instructions asked guests to write their best advice for the newlyweds on a heart.
I dispensed with advice I always give grooms:
“Always put the toilet seat and lid down when finished.”
According to Investopedia (!?), the number one reason couples fight is money. Wrong – it is the toilet seat. Bruce Springsteen may have found the key to the universe in an old parked car, put I found the real key when I put the toilet seat (and lid) down.
A popular misquote is: "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned."* The proper quote is: “Hell Hath no fury like a woman who falls into the toilet.
I know a woman who has been mad (not angry) twice in her life. The first time resulted in a diatribe at her husband while throwing (clean) laundry out a (second story) window. The reason? Long forgotten…
The 2nd time resulted in a lambasting never to be forgotten (by both). The reason? Yep, he left the toilet seat up.
It would seem that women would want the toilet seat up so men would not pee on it? Seems that risk is the lesser of two evils…
Note - there is risk in putting both the seat and lid down. Middle-age men wake up in the middle of the night and forget to raise the lid, young men are too drunk to raise the lid, and clueless men (redundant?) don’t even notice the lid is down (before or after).
Which brings me to the number one reason, according to The Daily Mail, that couples fight: house cleaning…
How about you? What is your reason to fight…? Share a story!
* Note - Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned is actually a misquote. In 1697, William Congreve wrote a poem, The Mourning Bride:
Heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned
Nor hell a fury like a woman scorned.
